Thursday, November 19, 2009

Pigeon Update

I have some good news and some bad news.  The good news is that the other pigeons came home to roost in the coop again.  I'm sure they were afraid to return for a few days because they were frightened.  That owl incident was awful for them and us.  But that mean old bird won't be bothering them again.  They are safe and some in the coop, which we might be moving closer to the house this weekend, anyway.  That's the good news.  The bad news is that one of the pigeons still alive had been injured by the owl.  There was a visible gash in it's chest that I had been considering stitching.  However, she got close enough to Michael the other day when she was eating and drinking for him to see that she was getting no sustenance.  Everything she ate and drank poured out of a hole in her throat.  It was only a matter of time before she would either starve or dehydrate.  She had to be humanely euthanized.

....and then there were three.  We down to only three pigeons.  I'm not going to buy any from a market breeder.  They are just too expensive.  Mike said he'd check with Mr. George to see if he has any he'd be willing to sell.  He races his, and has a ton of them.  Sometimes he gets too many and sells off a few to get rid of them.  We will see.
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This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell.
The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've this great rooster, named Randy. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."
Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but, farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Randy and takes the rooster home.
He then sets him down in the barnyard and gives the rooster a pep talk, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job.
"So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer ended with a chuckle.
Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Randy took off like a shot.
WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the hen house three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked.
After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Randy is in there.
Later, the farmer sees Randy after the flock of geese down by the lake. Once again, WHAM! He gets all the geese.
By sunset he sees Randy out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught -- worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours.
Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob -- stone cold in the middle of the yard and buzzards are circling overhead.
The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself.
Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "SHHHH, they're getting closer..."

7 comments:

Tracey said...

OMG! That was brilliant!!! XXX

John Gray jgsheffield@hotmail.com said...

tee hee....dont give up your day job!!!

Amy said...

That was fantastic!! ROFL!

Sorry about the little pigeon! :(

Amy xxx

Odette said...

Has Tracey rubbed off on you??!
xoxoxoxo

Tracey said...

Odette, I do have a very bad influence on people! xxx

Chicken Boys said...

I did not name the rooster Randy. That name was already in place when I found the joke.

Janean said...

awww. my husband had pigeons when he was a boy, so as an adult, he bought some more. they were fun, but when we got a "bully" or they died...ewwwww. we had homing, tumblers, Houdinis, fantails (the sweetest ones).